If you have a good sex life, it occupies about 10% of your relationship - and if you don't, its about 90%.
When sex is fulfilling, you both enjoy it and move on to other things. BUT if you are not satisfied, then someone feels hurt, rejected and confused and the problem consumes the marriage.
OK. That what made me write the previous entry.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Sex and the (long) Married Couple
I want to have a go at this for a long time. I have so many things to say but they are all jumbled up but I sorted them somewhat when I read kj's long entry that definitely you cannot digest at one sitting.
And my girlfriends have been talking about it for years...
*Thank you* kj for letting me quote parts of her blog entries. :)
A lot of blogs have been written by husbands about their wives "losing" interest in sex after being married for many many years. And its always the wives fault. Hmm.
This is a GENERAL observation. Not every man is as described below but MOST are, hehe.
Lets see:
Stay-home-wives have to manage the house, cleaning it, maintaining it to look like a home (I'm not going into detail but you get the jist). Then - kids - what nutritious food to feed them today? Have they done their homework? When are their exams coming up? How are their doing with their friends (again the list goes on). In short, multitasking is an understatement in a woman's world.
Wives who ALSO work out of the home work, deal with bossy boss, nasty and (some nice) colleagues, deadlines, deadlines, meetings, overtime. Then work continues again at home, regardless whether you have help or not but when you get home you change roles from a boss/secretary/factory-woker to a mother+ homemaker+dish-washer+laundromat+cook+waitress...the list goes on (I'm getting tired just thinking about it)
Husbands work, come home to a home cleaned by wife/cleaner, eat home-cooked meals cooked by wife/cook, served dinner by the wife/waitress, read newspaper, wait for kids to go to bed, lie in bed with his hands behind his head, tv on, with a hard-on, waiting...for sex.
Husband is KING. Wife is QUEEN? Uh-uh more like.... (fill in the blank)
Note: AGAIN, not ALL men but enough men.
Wife: E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D. Sex is the LAST thing on her mind.
(Does he think lying there with a hard-on is ALL I need??!)
Husband: D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-E-D
(darn, I waited so long for her to finish the chores and put the kids to bed, and I'm not getting ANY?!)
and declares "she is not interested in sex anymore." SIGH.
BUT
Who doesn't like to be horny?
(Quote) KNOW WHAT? It's a nice feeling. Being horny. Really nice. LIKE YOU'RE ALIVE. And young again. And sexy.
Guys turn on like a hotplate....gals are like crockpots...we warm up SLOWLY.
SO this is what WOMEN want (if you want sex tonight) :
I need the seduction thing going on all day long. Send me sexy e-mail, sms-es, tell me how great my hair looks, admire my eyes and tell me I've got a great ass/boobs. Notice that I have groomed myself just for you. Even that new clip/hairband on my hair you mention makes you closer to closing the deal to sex tonight.
HELP ME with the household chores and kids so my energy is not zapped out or ll be nodding off to la-la land with your hard-on in my hand!
Call me "baby" and look at me with those eyes and let me see how you are begging for my touch. When we finally get some time alone, don't strip down and just wait there...keep your clothes ON and let me peel them off. We don't get turned on by instant "naked"...it's the game we want to play.
PLAY THE GAME !!!
I FEEL SOMETHING. I'M ALIVE. I FEEL SEXY. SENSUAL. DEMANDING. SUBMISSIVE. DESIRED. DESIRING. LUSTFUL.
I want to attack. I want to be attacked. I want tender and soft, I want hard and furious. I want it every which way. I want to be enveloped, dominated, caressed, loved.... everything, all of it.
Wives love pleasing their husbands when they are turned on. But they have to BE TURNED ON.
When women are turned on, isn't it worth all the little details men paid attention to? Don't men like pleasing their wives? After all when a woman is turned on, you can lay back with your hands behind your head and watch her unfold....
And my girlfriends have been talking about it for years...
*Thank you* kj for letting me quote parts of her blog entries. :)
A lot of blogs have been written by husbands about their wives "losing" interest in sex after being married for many many years. And its always the wives fault. Hmm.
This is a GENERAL observation. Not every man is as described below but MOST are, hehe.
Lets see:
Stay-home-wives have to manage the house, cleaning it, maintaining it to look like a home (I'm not going into detail but you get the jist). Then - kids - what nutritious food to feed them today? Have they done their homework? When are their exams coming up? How are their doing with their friends (again the list goes on). In short, multitasking is an understatement in a woman's world.
Wives who ALSO work out of the home work, deal with bossy boss, nasty and (some nice) colleagues, deadlines, deadlines, meetings, overtime. Then work continues again at home, regardless whether you have help or not but when you get home you change roles from a boss/secretary/factory-woker to a mother+ homemaker+dish-washer+laundromat+cook+waitress...the list goes on (I'm getting tired just thinking about it)
Husbands work, come home to a home cleaned by wife/cleaner, eat home-cooked meals cooked by wife/cook, served dinner by the wife/waitress, read newspaper, wait for kids to go to bed, lie in bed with his hands behind his head, tv on, with a hard-on, waiting...for sex.
Husband is KING. Wife is QUEEN? Uh-uh more like.... (fill in the blank)
Note: AGAIN, not ALL men but enough men.
Wife: E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D. Sex is the LAST thing on her mind.
(Does he think lying there with a hard-on is ALL I need??!)
Husband: D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-E-D
(darn, I waited so long for her to finish the chores and put the kids to bed, and I'm not getting ANY?!)
and declares "she is not interested in sex anymore." SIGH.
BUT
Who doesn't like to be horny?
(Quote) KNOW WHAT? It's a nice feeling. Being horny. Really nice. LIKE YOU'RE ALIVE. And young again. And sexy.
Guys turn on like a hotplate....gals are like crockpots...we warm up SLOWLY.
SO this is what WOMEN want (if you want sex tonight) :
I need the seduction thing going on all day long. Send me sexy e-mail, sms-es, tell me how great my hair looks, admire my eyes and tell me I've got a great ass/boobs. Notice that I have groomed myself just for you. Even that new clip/hairband on my hair you mention makes you closer to closing the deal to sex tonight.
HELP ME with the household chores and kids so my energy is not zapped out or ll be nodding off to la-la land with your hard-on in my hand!
Call me "baby" and look at me with those eyes and let me see how you are begging for my touch. When we finally get some time alone, don't strip down and just wait there...keep your clothes ON and let me peel them off. We don't get turned on by instant "naked"...it's the game we want to play.
PLAY THE GAME !!!
I FEEL SOMETHING. I'M ALIVE. I FEEL SEXY. SENSUAL. DEMANDING. SUBMISSIVE. DESIRED. DESIRING. LUSTFUL.
I want to attack. I want to be attacked. I want tender and soft, I want hard and furious. I want it every which way. I want to be enveloped, dominated, caressed, loved.... everything, all of it.
Wives love pleasing their husbands when they are turned on. But they have to BE TURNED ON.
When women are turned on, isn't it worth all the little details men paid attention to? Don't men like pleasing their wives? After all when a woman is turned on, you can lay back with your hands behind your head and watch her unfold....
Monday, April 17, 2006
Sex and Little Girls
Now, more than ever, influences from the west are at its strongest.
Being sexy, is no longer adults' territory. Little girls under 12 are made to feel that their sexuality need to conform to certain standards before they are cool. And they are believing it!
At the mall, I was overwhelmed by the fact that clothes for these little girls are getting more and more skimpy, more flesh being bared. Very very very short skirts, jeans that start at the hips and expose their butt cracks (already?), fake nails, high heels, belly-button-baring extra extra small baby t-shirts.
Why are parents allowing their innocent little girls to dress like streetwalkers?
Being sexy, is no longer adults' territory. Little girls under 12 are made to feel that their sexuality need to conform to certain standards before they are cool. And they are believing it!
At the mall, I was overwhelmed by the fact that clothes for these little girls are getting more and more skimpy, more flesh being bared. Very very very short skirts, jeans that start at the hips and expose their butt cracks (already?), fake nails, high heels, belly-button-baring extra extra small baby t-shirts.
Why are parents allowing their innocent little girls to dress like streetwalkers?
Friday, April 14, 2006
Dream Kitchen
I dream of a country kitchen
with modern appliances
and a traditional charcoal oven
for authentic breads and pizzas, (yummy)
and classic country pottery
with lots of woody fixtures
spacious islands to knead and mix
- bread - savoury and sweet
cakes
and cookies.
And just outside, fresh herbs in pots.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
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